An American Werewolf in Taichung

Some time ago, my landlord and I were talking on our way out of the apartment building, and as we were in the scooter parking area he asked me if I liked driving a scooter.

"I love it," I responded. It can be a lot of fun, but sometimes it's a little scary.

He kidded a bit about the craziness of the traffic, and then he warned me. "The police are looking," he said. "I know when foreigners get here they obey the law, but sometimes after some time they are like... real Taiwanese driving."

I have become one of those foreigners. I drive like any other Taiwanese person. A red light means there will likely be traffic going crosswise, but if there isn't, the way is clear. Speed is relative. One can go down the left side of the road if it's only for a short way to get to a particular alley. U-turns can be made anywhere, and on a scooter, against a red light.

In the States, motorcycles are treated, as the rules go, like cars, but here they are separate. But there are many of the same laws, and some rules are stricter. But enforcement is incredibly lax, and no one seems to care.

Or so I thought.

Earlier this evening, I was going down Mei Tsun Rd looking for a particular noodle shop that had been pointed out to me before. I realized I had gone too far, and I found myself at a red light. So I did the usual thing for a U-Turn, which was to check for anyone making a turn into the opposing lane, and seeing that the way was clear, I pulled out just past the crosswalk, veered left, gunned it across the median, and pulled left again, and was on my way in the opposite direction.

Down the block I looked in my rearview and noticed a man on a different scooter following very closely. Then a little light and siren came on.

I pulled over, the cop pulled behind me and sidled up to where I had parked. He said something to me in Mandarin.

It's OK, he doesn't speak English. Just play dumb, I thought. I shrugged a bit and looked at him like I hadn't the foggiest.

"Do you know that you cannot do this turn?" he repeated, this time in very crisp, cram school English.

F---.

He gave me a ticket after a stern lecture on traffic safety in somewhat broken English and went on his way.

Lesson learned. Always check the intersection for cops.

Recently, the Rand Corporation (America's biggest collection of evil geniuses bent on world domina--uh... "policy-oriented think tank") published this monograph detailing how a number of practices from the civilian advertising world could be integrated into the U.S.'s current counterinsurgency operations in Iraq, Afghanistan, and elsewhere, not just to improve the military's image but also its actual success.

It's really not a terrible idea. Nike, Coca-Cola and the like have been winning the hearts and minds of people the world over for generations. Advertisers know their stuff.

So the concept of "branding" could make its way into security operations. It's not to say that the groundworks for such a thing haven't already been placed, but the concept of actually focusing on image generation rather than reactionary attempts to mitigate negative perceptions hasn't actually made its way into counterinsurgency doctrine or practice (handing out water doesn't count).

Screw you, Friedman and Co., even if you are right.